For me, there’s nothing quite like the feeling a new year brings. It’s a chance to start fresh, make resolutions (and probably not keep them but it’s the thought that counts), make new goals and make changes to improve your life.
I usually enter a new year with a million different resolutions and ideas, but this year it’s a bit different. And it’s all because of a book I read over Christmas. I seriously believe the world would be a better place if everyone could read this book.
It’s called ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck.’ By Mark Manson. And it’s brilliant.
I’m actually only 3/4 of the way through, but it’s already started changing my outlook and I want to get this blog out while the new year is still fresh.
I’m not going to tell you exactly what it says, because then you won’t read it for yourself and also that would be a really long post, and also plagiarism, but after only 30 pages of reading this book I felt different, and lighter.
This isn’t your classic self help book that tells you to think positive and look on the bright side of life and think about how good you have it when it could be worse… it’s actually quite the opposite. It tells you that life actually does suck sometimes, and it’s not always rainbows and sunshine and ‘thinking positive’ isn’t going to fix anything. And it’s so refreshing and Mark’s style of writing is so honest.
It talks about the fact that life really is just a series of problems. One after the other. And sometimes life really does just suck. But the way you prioritise your problems and the choices you make with these problems, and the way YOU react to them is the key to your happiness. It’s about choosing and realising what problems are actually worth giving an eff about, and working on them, and reacting in stronger, healthier ways to shitty problems that are also out of your control. It’s about not really caring about the things in life that don’t matter to you, even if you think you should.
It sounds so simple, but I can’t express how much the words Mark use just stick with you. One of the best things I’ve read so far is how your negative emotions are just as, if not more important than our positive emotions to deal with, and it’s so important to not try and disguise your emotions with materialistic things that you think might make you happy. You need to have real human values and work on them, and your ‘good/worth caring about’ problems need to be your priority.
So in 2018, I’m going into the New Year with a new outlook. I’m going to focus on my problems that I care about, and hope that those problems become good problems, and then they become better problems. Because that’s more worthwhile than putting all of my energy into my more often than not materialistic, shallow, bad problems, that are more than likely caused by things that really aren’t worth giving a flying eff about. Like for example getting sad cause I can’t afford a Tesla, or really any new car for that matter. Or not having enough followers on Instagram. Or not being invited to every single event. That’s not how the value of life should be determined. Well, after reading this book, it’s no longer how I want the value of my life to be determined.
The important things in my life this year, and always, will determine my happiness and outlook on life. My family, my friends, my dog, a makeup business/passion I love and want to grow, supporting others, and dealing with worthwhile problems are what I need to focus on this year. My values will be determined by my desire to be a good person, not a popular or rich person. I want to focus on being kind, honest, respectful and hard working.
There is SO MUCH MORE to this book than what I’ve touched on here, I’ve simply taken the points that have stood out to me, probably because I needed to hear some brutal honesty. It’s well worth a read from literally anyone who can read.
It’s going to be a year of good problems, and accepting that shit happens.